AN ORIGINAL SENSATIONAL SOCIETY PLAY. 



STIRRING COMEDY DRAMA, 

* _ , —-ENTITLED — 

THE INSANE LOVER; 



TEE FATE OF TEE L1EEE1E. 



In Three Acts and Six Tableaux. 



By SIMON M. LANDIS, M. D. 

Author of " The Devil's Kingdom." '< The Social War of 1900 ; 

or, The Conspirators and Lovers." " Lessons in Search of 

Greatness; or, Stepping Down the Ladder." " The 

Fiend ; or, Torturer of Innocence." " Mesmer, the 

Terror of the Rich," &c. 



PRINTED, BUT NOT PUBLISHED, 

By the Author, Dr. S. M. Landu, at his Medical Institution 

13 North Eleventh Street, Philadelphia., Pa. 

1875. 

^ 



AN ORIGINAL SENSATIONAL SOCIETY PLAY. 



STIRRING COMEDY DRAMA, 



THE INSANE LOVER; 



TIE FATE OF TIE L1IT1. 



In Three Acts and Six Tableaux. 



By SIMON M. LANDIS, M. D. 

AuLhor of " The Devil's Kingdom." lt The Social War of 1900 ; 

or, The Conspirators and Lovers." " Lessons in Search of 

Greatness; or, Stepping Down the Ladder." "The 

Fiend ; or, Torturer of Innocence." " Mesmer^ the 



Terror of the Rich," &c. 



QJ Q 

$ 



PKINTED, BUT NOT PUBLISHED, 

By the Author, Dr. 8. M. Landis, at his Medical Institution, 

13 North Eleventh Street, Philadelphia, Pa. 

.375. 



?f)^C 



z\ 



l^- 



CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. 

Age. " 

22. Charles Weldon, « The Insane Lover. " Genteel 

modern suit. 
28. Tom Fair, a rake and millionaire. Fine broad cloth, fash-* 

ionable suit. 
36. Jim Bluster, a drunken outlaw. Shabby genteel modern 

suit. 
26. Hans, a wide-awake servant. Ordinary servant's suit. 
18. Miss Jennie Winslow, a coquette. Fashionable modern 

dress. 
20. Biddy Mc Flanigan, an Irish lass in love with Hans. 

Servant's suit. 

Servants, Peasants, &c. 



THE INSANE LOVER; 



THE FATE OF THE LIBERTINE. 



♦ 



ACT I. 



SCENE I. — Drawing Boom of Miss Jennie Winslow. She 
reads a love-letter from Chas. Weldon. 
Miss Jennie Winslow. — [Beads.] "My dear Jennie — I love you 
better than my own life ! I hope you are fully aware that Tom 
Fair has designs upon your chastity." What can he mean? Oh ! t 
he is only a little jealous ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! the dear fellow ! "And I 
warn you against his wiles; because, he is a very deep scoundrel! 
And if man was ever born to seduce a virtuous woman, he is that 
man, so my darling beware ! beware of this rake !" Great heaven ! 
This language to me ! The impudent boy must think I am a fool ! 
I am as indignant as I can be ! I wish I had him here, I'd teach 
him a little lesson. I do not believe that Mr. Fair is that sort of a 
gentleman ! He is rich, and always very polite and gentlemanly ; 
moreover, he moves in the best of society, and is admired by every 
lady of taste ! I wish he would make love to me ! Yes, I should 
encourage him all I could, and thereby teach Mr. Charley Weldon 
a lesson for his insulting letter to me ! But, I almost forgot [Looks 
at letter.] that I had not finished reading this chaste epistle, 
which was written for my special (?) benefit. "Do you know 
that I am awfully jealous, and I would murder any man who 
would take you away from me !" Ha! ha! indeed! jealous; but 
I'll teach you, my boy, to beware how you write insulting letters 
to me without cause ! [Meditates a moment.] But, then he is all 
alone, away in that old orthodox college ! [ Cools down. ] I pity 
him ! He loves me dearly, [Kisses the letter.] or he would not 
be so jealous !' I will finish it. "If you should cease to love me, 
I'd" — What do I see? [Shocked, stares and reads.] "If you 
should cease to love me, I'd murder you /" [Screams and falls 
on chair.] 



4 The Insane Lover; 

[Enter Biddy McFlanigan.] 

Biddy McFlanigan. — [Buns to her Mistress.] Och ! dear 
lady, was it ye that screamed, an' what bees the matter wid yer 
swate silf ? 

Miss J. W. — [Composed.'] Oh! nothing, nothing ! Go, please 
leave me — 

Biddy. — Lave ye ; no, swate lady, ye air sick, an' I could not 
lave ye — 

Miss J. W. — [Enraged and nervous.] Go, or I'll murder 
y ou ! [ Makes for her. ] 

Biddy. — [Scared, runs out and screams awfully.] O-c-h ! 
murder, murder ! Hans, Hans, where air ye ? 

[Exit Biddy Left. Enter Hans Right. ] 

Hans. — [Red faced and fierce.] Mine Cot, wat bish de madder 
mid youens! [Expects to find Biddy, but sees Miss W. instead, 
which causes him to be bewildered. ] Becks pardon, I makes 
much misddfc, because I heard mine Piddy holler in dis room, 
und wen I comes, she wash not been here ! Ha ! ha ! you beens 
here, und she beens not here ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Miss J. W. — [Smiles, but is vexed.] Yes, yes, she was here, 
but has gone into the kitchen. [Points.] Go there, you'll find her. 

Hans. — Yaw, yaw, wise Gott, I goes ! Ha ! ha ! [Stands still] 

Miss. J. W. — [Impatient and nervous. ] Go ! 

Hans. — [Jumps.] Mine Cot! she bish as mat as mine pig 
bull! [Frowns.] 

[Exit Hans.] 

Miss J. W. — Once more alone ; these stupid servants are a nui- 
sance, but they are by this time making love for themselves. Now 
to finish this letter. — [Reads.] "If you should cease to love me, 
I'd murder you !" [Meditates, holds her heart and sighs.] Oh ! 
Charley, dear Charley, how can you write such cruel words ? 
"Remember my words, and shun Tom Fair. Farewell. 

Charley." 

[Falls into a chair, a knock at the door. Enter Mr. Tom 
Fair.] 

Tom Fair. — Miss Winslow I hope will pardon me for this 
abrupt intrusion upon her private meditations ; but I have been 
sent by Mrs. Weldon, the mother of your particular friend Mr. 
Charley Weldon, to inform you of an accident that befel Mr. 
Charles — 

Miss J. W. — [Holds her heart and faints.] O-Oh! 

T. F — [Spies the letter which she dropped, and after he 
makes her easy, takes and reads to himself .] Great heavens! 
This of me, and to her, and from Charley Weldon, my tried and 
true friend and schoolmate ? Curses on this bastard ingrate ; 
whom I have favored with gifts, loans and friendship ! [Drops 
letter where he found it.] She is coming to, I must be calm ! 

Miss J. W. — [Sighs and moans.] Oh ! where am I? 

T. F- — Here in your own cozy drawing-room — 

Miss J. W. — Please, ring the bell for the servant — ■ 

T. F. — Permit me, dear lady, to be your servant — ■ 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 5 

Miss J. W. — [Indignant.] No Sir, I thank you — 

T. F. — A moment first, before you call your servant — 

Miss J. W. — Well, quick then, what is it? 

T. F. — If you send for your servant, I will not have an oppor- 
tunity to relate the incidents, that caused the accident of your 
devoted lover ! 

Miss J. W. — [Frowns. Aside.] Is this man teasing me, or 
what does he mean? I'll try him. [To him.] Of course, he is a 
true, good fellow ! So pure and affectionate ! 

T. F. — [Looks lovingly.] I wish some one would esteem me 
in that light ! Dear lady, it is a blessing to be loved by so 
beautiful and fascinating a person as yourself. 

Miss J. W. — Indeed! [Sarcastically.] But, I did not say that 
/loved him — 

T. F. — I am delighted, that you do not love him — 

Miss J. W. — [Indignantly.] Who do you mean? 

T. F. — Mr. Charles Weldon, of course ! 

Miss J. W. — What is that to you ? 

T. F. — Everything, sweet lady! [He advances to her.] 

Miss J. W- — Stand back and finish your errand, then you can 
leave ! 

T. F. — I am no errand-boy, I'd have you know ! I am a gen- 
tleman who does not brook insults with impunity ; neither have I 
anything to tell you from any one, but I came here of my own free 
accord, for the purpose of gaining your affections, and — 

Miss J. W. — Silence! [Pointing to door.] Leave, or I'll call 
my servant, who will put you out ! 

T. F- — [Smiling.] It would take a very strong man to put me 
out, and then you would expose yourself so much as to expose 
your lover's best friend. 

Miss J. W. — If you refer to Mr. Charles Weldon, you make a 
mistake ; because he is no friend of yours, I had a letter to-day 
that proved this assertion ; and you certainly are not his friend, or 
you would not insult him through me as you have just done ! 

T. F. — Yes, I have been his most substantial, if not his most 
affectionate friend — 

Miss J. W. — How is that ? 

T. F. — Easy, my dear, and I'll tell you ! Who is one's best 
friend ? Money, money ! [Strikes his pocket.] And he, and even 
you, have lived on my friendship ! Yes, open your charming eyes, 
and deny it, if you can! And more than this; I have used influ- 
ence that placed him and his above want ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! Poverty 
is a crime ! And when it comes into the house, love flies out, and 
vou know this to be as true as preaching. With my wealth and 
:nduence I can place you above want, or on the contrary, crush 
you ! What do you think of my friendship ? Is it worth having? 

Miss J. W. — [Looks puzzled.] You speak the truth, when you 
say that money is one's best friend ! But, at the same time it is a 
sad state of affairs, when the human family become enthralled in 
this manner ! 

T. F. — I do not exactly comprehend you. Do you mean, dear 



6 The Insane Lover; 

lady, that I propose to enslave you* because I have plenty of it ? If 
you do, you are mistaken, but, it is pure love, with which I 
would like to captivate you, and then when that is done, I am the 
man who can supply the substantials to sustain everything, with- 
out the wings of poverty carrying away the better share of mortal's 
happy days ; because, you must know that one cannot be happy 
without the necessaries of life; and you fashionable ladies 
[Smiling.] have numerous expensive wants. Am I not right? 

Miss J. W. — You are right in your last remark, but Mr. Charles 
Weldon is talented and respected ; moreover, when he returns 
home as a fully bred lawyer, he may soon make plenty of money — 

T. F. — Not if I oppose it, because my money and influence can 
ruin all his bright prospects — 

Miss J- W. — But you would not be so cruel and wicked as to 
carry out your threats? 

T. F. — Certainly not, if you promise to love me and relinquish 
your affection for him ! But, if you do not encourage my suit, I 
shall do that very thing. 

Miss J. W. — [Aside.] Great heaven! what can I do to save 
dear Charley? I dare not reject this tyrant, and to encourage him 
would imperil both our lives, should Charley discover us ! [ To 
liim.] Promise me to do nothing hastily, because time may change 
your mind ! 

T. F. — Certainly, fools only do things hastily ! But I have 
loved you ever since I first saw you, some six or seven years ago ; 
and Mr. Weldon promised to introduce you to me, but from some 
cause or other he always failed to do so ! I suppose he was jeal- 
ous ! 

Miss J. W. — He does not love me well enough to be jealous of 
me; because, they say, [Laughs.] it requires great love to pro- 
voke it — 

T. F. — Yes, great love or great selfishness ! With me it is 
genuine love, as I have no need to be selfish, having sufficient 
money to supply my every wish outside of love ! But, [Shrugg- 
ing his shoulders.] with a poor man, like Mr. Weldon, selfish- 
ness is self-evident, or he would not want to drag you into poverty ! 
because, what else but poverty could he give you for your love ? 

Miss J. W. — I must say that you reason well, and I am proud 
to have so noble a gentleman as yourself pleading for my hand — 

T. F. — [Aside.] Devil take her hand, I don't want to marry 
the poor fool, but I want her love ! [ To her.] Yes, my arguments 
generally are water proof, and so are all the many wants, which 
make handsome young ladies like yourself, queens in elite society ! 

Miss J. W. — [Looks quite pleased, and exhibits some affec- 
tion.] I sincerely believe that we could agree very well, and I 
could — 

T. F. — Love me, sweetest lady ! [ Grasps her hand and icaist, 
embraces her.] Say so, and be happy ! 

Miss J. W. — Certainly, I desire to be happy ! 

T. F. — Heaven bless you for that ! [Kisses her amorously, 
she lays limber in his arms.] 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 7 

[Enter Mr. Charles Weldon.] 
Charles Weldon.— [Suddenly upon the lovers.] My curse 
upon ye both ! [Grasps her, and dashes her to the floor ', then 
springs upon him like an infuriated fiend.'] 
Tableau. 

vSCENE 2. — Kitchen or Dining Room, of Miss Jennie Win- 
slow's house. Hans and Biddy making lone. 

Biddy. — Hans, ye does not care what becomes of paples, or ye 
wuld have gone tow Miss Jennie's room, when she scramed. 

Hans. — [Embraces her.] Dunder und blitzen ! wash I not been 
dare, und she told me to gits oud ; und if I wash been oud, wen I 
wash been told so, I goes not pack to be told ower to go oud ! 
Mine Cot. put I loves you ! [Holds and Jciseses her amorously.] 

Biddy. — -[Screams.] Lave me be, ye has no true luf fur eny 
one — [ Wants more hugging.] 

Hans. — Mine Cot, I dinks I wash been luffing you mid mine 
whole boddy, und you dinks, I luf wash not been much strong ! 
Gott in himmel, cum hare, und I sh wallow you — -[ Grasps her in 
his arms, throws his legs around her, and lays his neck around 
hers, fyc.] 

Biddy. — [Submits quietly.] Ye bees a funny boy. [Laughs.] 

Hans. — Poy! [Laughs and smacks his lips.] When I beens 
a poy, what beens your mans? [Hugs her more and kisses her 
fast.] Mine Cot, wen I lufs her I beens a poy, und wen I lufs 
her not, I beens haf no drue luf to anyboddy. [Looks quizzically 
at her, tohilst he takes a resting spell, still holding her tightly.] 
Das been much grade works ! Mine Cot, if I knows dat mine 
Piddy here [Pointing to her.] wash not been luf by dis pusiness, 
I'd leafer not works so much ! [Sighs, sweats and blows hugely, 
but hugs and kisses all the time fast and hard:] 

Biddy. — Och ! Hans, ye air a funny boy ! 

Hans. — Mine Cot, yust hear dat ! I beens a poy anoder dimes ! 
Say, young womans, how much has it took of luffing in dis way to 
make a mans, if I wash been a poy all dis dimes ? 

Biddy — I mane, Hans, that ye air a boy, becase ye act so 
quick wid yer jerks. 

Hans. — [Stares with quizzical amazement.] Yust hear dem 
womans spoke ! Wen I squose her mid mine whole life, she call 
dem "queek yerks," und wen I do nottin, she spokes, I wash haf 
been a poy ! [Laughs.] Mine Cot, what ways kan one mans do, 
what makes luf to dis womans ! 

Biddy. — Why, Hans, ye should be more gentlee. 

Hans.-— [Bou gh speech and boisterous.] "More shentlee," 
[Laughs.] "more shentlee!" [Aside.] I dries anoder way, 
what am "more shentlee," und haf no "yerks." I yust lick her 
mid mine tong ! [Sticks out his long tongue and laughs. To 
Tier.] Piddy, mine sugar and molasses womans, I wash a dinkin 
a blans what wash not been mid "yerks," oder "more shentlee." 
[Smothered laugh.] It wash been dis way ! [Begins to lick her 
face all over, whilst holding her still and tight.] 



8 The Insane Lover ; 

Biddy. — [Screams.'] Och! ye dirty feller ! 

Hans. — [Puts Ms hand on her mouth.] Now, I beens a "dirty 
feller." [Laughs. Licks her again.] 

Biddy. — [Screams and struggles to get loose.] Go away, ye 
pisons me wid yer rough tongue. [She slips from his grasp, 
looking all rumpled, and tiombled hair-] 

Hans. — Cum hare; [Beckoning her with his finger.] wen I 
wash making your hairs purdy mid mine tong— [Goes for her, 
she runs and falls, he falls over her awkwardly, and bruises his 
nose.] 

Biddy. — [Laughs as lie holds his nose.] An'shure, ye got yer 
desserts fur bein' so indacent — [Points and laughs.] 

Hans. — [Half mad, laughs roughly.] Ha! ha! ha! [Ad- 
dresses the audience.] Dem womans, dinks she wash been smart, 
when she goeses dat way. — [Points as she did.] I dinks dat is 
damned stoopid. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Biddy. — Hans, if ye will promise to behave yersilf, I'll forgive 
ye fur slobberin' myself all over. 

Hans. — [Looks comically.] Wash dat so ! Yust look at dem 
womans what haf one harts as pig as a moundains. [ Waves her 
to him.] Cum, I forgifs you doo; dat wash, if you sung me dem 
songs what I likes so much ! 

Biddy. — Shure, of ye bees rale fine, I'll do it fur ye ! 

Hans. — Yaw wole. [Sing together.] 

SCENE III. — Draioing Boom of Miss Jennie Winslow. Enter 
the "Insane Lover," Mr. Charley Weldon, who 
looks ghastly pale, dishevelled hair, hat- 
less and distracted. 
Insane Lover. — [Bushing like a madman into the room.] 
Here, O, here was the place, where I did it, and he too was dying, 
when I tore them apart ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! Oh ! ha ! ha ! ha ! She 
soon died, ha! ha! ha! when I dashed her to the floor ! [Shows 
how he did it.] She would have lived to this day, had she been 
true to her vows to me ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! [Baves awfully in a 
hysterical manner. ] But, I told her in my last letter that I 
should murder her, if she was false to me ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! O, ye 
gods, I have kept my promise, I am true, ha ! ha! ha! always 
true to my promises ! ha ! ha ! ha ! true to my promises ! [ Calms 
down as he spies a letter lying on the floor, picks it up and pre- 
tends to read it.] A letter, [Opens it.] my letter, I'll read it as 
I am alone ! [Looks around.] "Dearest Jennie !" [Discovers 
it to be a letter from Tom Fair to Miss Jennie Winslow, when 
he screams and goes on terribly.] Heaven, hell, earth and air! 
It is Tom's letter to Jennie ! Oh ! ye everlasting demons of torture, 
avaunt ! Tom Fair, Tom Fair I'll be after you ! Beware, beware, 
I'll keep my promise with you, as I've done with her, whom you 
have betrayed, ravished and deserted ! May all the realms of 
damnation open their infernal jaws to receive your incestuous car- 
cass ! Ha! ha! ha! [Points heavenward.] Oh! ye gods of 
vengeance, and all ye gods of love, I am preparing food for your 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 9 

morbid appetites ! I was born to conquer, born to terrify and an- 
nihilate my opponents ! [Calms again. ~\ Ha! ha! ha! I sub- 
mit myself to Cupid ! Come to me, you sweet curator, thy laurels 
shall be unfettered and free as the mountain air! I have sacrificed 
already one of nature's noblest creatures, have safely embalmed 
her, thereby shielding her from the wiles of wealthy libertines 
and rakes, who go about devouring thy subjects, sweet and lovely 
goddess of love ! My love is pure as water, solid as a rock, last- 
ing as time, tender as a dove, absorbing as a mountain of sponge, 
and when abused or maltreated rises up in my soul and curses 
every thing before it, until one vast ocean of carrion monsters 
stare at me like devouring wolves, whose natures terrify every 
woman that yields to the offerings of deceivers ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
ha! Beware, beware then, all ye maidens how ye receive into 
your confidence the defilers of Cupid's children ! Rise and flee 
from the offerings of wealthy libertines, for as sure as the god of 
love adorns the sacred brow of innocence, so sure art thou shorn 
of thy virtue, when Tom Fair's go about, compassing sea and land, 
and proselyting the earth to their hell born passions ! Oh ! fly ! fly ! 
from his presence, and save your souls, young women, from the 
torture of mammon kings ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! ye all obey me, except 
one, one, one ! Oh ! pity and curse that one ! Yes, may hell and 
the devil surround her faithless soul, as she harrows my vitals ; 
drinks the marrow of my bones, and spews it to the four winds of 
the earth, without thought, fear or favor ! Unloose your grip on my 
lifeless heart, and avaunt, or I'll call the gods of vengeance to cast 
you into outer darkness, where eternal longing for love will flood 
your soul without being gratified in the least ! Ha! ha! ha! 
[Terribly agitated, falls on the floor insensible and exhausted.] 
[Enter Biddy and Hans.] 

Hans. — I luf you morer dan anyding. But you womans been 
always lookin' oud for some more fellers, what am richer than we 
mans ! Bis dis not so, mine Piddy ? [ Chucks her under the 
chin and smiles sweetly.] 

Biddy. — Hans, ye were making luv to Miss Kittie Conover, 
the other day, an' ye need not be accusin' me of havin' more than 
one lover. 

Sans. — Mine Cot, I wash not been makin' luf to Miss Kittie 
Conover ; but, I yust dells you ! Ha ! ha ! 

Biddy. — An' why don't ye tell me, thin ? 

Hans. — Yaw, you gifs me dime, wen I dells you dat I wash 
not been makin' luf to Kittie ; ha ! ha ! but dat fine womans wash 
been makin' luf to me. What you dinks of dat ? 

Biddy. — Begorrah ! an' I tink ye are lyin', Hans. 

Hans. — Nine, I wash not lyin', I wash standdin' ! [Spies In- 
sane Lover.] Gott in himmel, Piddy [Points.'] looks dere, dat 
mans wash beens lyin'. 

Biddy. — [Shudders and nestles close to Hans, being scared.] 
Hans, darlin', plaze put him out, he looks crazy ! 

Hans. — Piddy, does ye dakes me for a pig army ? [Also looks 
scared, and backs toward the door.] 



The Insane Lover; 

-Och ! see, he is gettin' up ! Ye go and put him out. 

Hans- — Nine, by Cot, I does not begins dem foolish dings mid 
such crazy mans ! 

Biddy. — Hans, darlin', ye air a coward. 

Hans. — What for you sphoke dem foolish dings! Mine Cot, id 
would not pay to have mine head brokes mid dem crazy mans 
dingoes. 

Biddy.— 'See, he is gittin' up ! Ye go for hilp— 

Hans.- — What you makes so much spectawkle of dis pusiness ? 
Go dineself und told Miss Chennie ! [He points past where In. 
L. lies and pushes her, whilst he runs off the other way scared.] 
[Exit one right, the other left.'] 

In. L, — [Rises up and crawls to the lounge, lies on floor and 
lays his head on lounge and moans.'] Oh ! O, my weary, weary 
brain! [Strokes his forehead and sighs.] 

[Enter Miss Jennie Winslow and Biddy.] 

Biddy. — There's the crazy man. 

Miss J. W- — Great heaven ! It is he ! 

Biddy. — Who, did ye say ? 

Miss J. W- — Never mind, Biddy, but go and leave me ! 

Biddy. — Och ! me swate lady, an' he might harm ye. 

Miss J. W. — Never mind, but go. [Angry.] 
[Exit Biddy.] 

In. L. — [Shakes his whole body as if getting a spasm, and 
groans.] Oh ! O, my head ! 

Miss J. W- — [ Weeps, and goes to him. Lays her hand 
quietly on his shoulder.] My poor, dear Charley ! In heaven's 
name, what has changed you so in a few days ? [He is silent-] 
Charley! Dear Charley ! [Strokes his forehead gently.] Don't 
you know me ? 

. In, L. — [Suddenly he raises his head and stares at her 
wildly.] Ye gods of love, I am with you once again! But I am 
weary and forsaken, therefore give me peace and quiet ! [Is 
docile. ] 

Miss J. W. — [Aside.] Great Father, I've been the cause of all 
this; yes, my flirtations have brought this noble soul to this con- 
dition ! Oh ! woman, woman, what your pride can do ! Had I 
not been so ambitious to outdo my sisterhood, I would have 
shunned Mr. Tom Fair, and continued true in word and deed to 
my dear Charley ! After all, I love him only ; even in this dis- 
tracted condition ! Money and influence may provide imaginary 
wants and make a butterfly of one, but they do not satisfy a loving 
heart. Heaven forgive me, and I vow by this desolate soul, that 
I will make every reparation in my power, even to the sacrifice of 
my own life, to save and love my dearly beloved Charley, Oh ! 
Charley. [Shakes him, he awakes as it were.] Charley, speak to 
me ! 

In. L.— Who calls Charley? [Mildly.] 

Miss J. W' — I do, your own Jennie ! Speak, oh ! speak to me ! 
[Weeps.] 

In. L. — Certainly, fiend ! 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. ii 

Miss J. W- — I am no fiend, my love ! 

In. L- — [Becomes animated. ] Love ! Yes, Cupid, I am here 
at your bidding ; although Tom Fair has crossed my path in love, 
yet I love on as if I had never seen him ! Oh ! if only she had 
proved steadfast, I could have been happy, but alas ! now, I am 
lonely, [Weeps. ] forlorn and forsaken ! [Weeps.} 

Miss J. W. — [ Weeps likeioise.] No, no, my dear Charley, 
[Stroking his forehead and cheeks.'] you are not forsaken ! I 
love you more than ever! I pray you look at me, and believe me 
that I always loved you ; have been true to you — 

In. L.— Accursed be the tongue that lies ! [Speaks uncon- 
cerned, as if no one was about.'] 

Miss J. W. — Indeed, indeed ! I have been true to you ; howev- 
er, I admit a little indiscreet, having been flattered and courted by 
a cunning scoundrel, but I have never loved him. my love is 
yours ; will you have it, my dear Charley ? 

In. L. — Love, love ; yes, I love you, dear lady ; you have a 
beautiful hand, [ Takes it into his and looks at hand, but wont 
look at her face.} it looks more like the hand of a young lady I 
knew than the hand of a "goddess of love !" May I kiss it ? 

MlSS J. W- — Certainly ! 

In. L. — [Is shocked, jumps to his feet, greatly agitated.] 
Who are you, and what do you want here ? 

Miss J. W- — Don't you know me ? Please look at me — 

In. L. — [ Weeps again.] Cupid, Cupid ; ye gods do not drive 
me mad ! Ye mock me with your familiarities ; ye torture me 
with your wiles, but I am content ! [Drops his head.] 

Miss J. W. — Oh ! had it not been for Mr. Thomas Fair — 

In. L. — Tom Fair ! [Flies up furiously and terribly agita- 
ted.] Who calls Tom Fair? I'll murder him, the first chance I 
get; where, where is he? [Grasps her fiercely and roughly.] 
Tell me, or I'll send you to hell ! Ingrate, fiend, monster, carrion, 
liar, viper, snake ! [Dashes her violently away, but instantly 
seizes her again.] 

Miss J. W- — Oh ! do not curse me, I'll make every reparation — 

In. L. — Reparation! [Bends her over, chokes and handles 
her awful roughly, she screams.] 

Miss J. If"— Help ! help ! 

In. L. — Yes, help, help ! Come, oh, come, ye gods of ven- 
geance, and assist me to tear the false heart from every mother's 
son. Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! 

[Enter FIans and Biddy.] 

Hans. — Mine Cot, Piddy, [Pointing and scared.] Look dem 
crazy mans wash been killing dem womans — 

Biddy. — Murder, murder, murder ! 

Hans. — Yaw, wise Gott ! murder ! murder, much damn mur- 
der ! [ They run around the stage screaming, until the whole 
neighborhood is aroused and brought to them.] 

[Enter Jim Bluster and Peasants.] 

Jim Bluster. — [Runs and grasps Insane Lover by the 



12 The Insane Lover; 

throat, endeavors to tear him away from Miss J. W.] Scoun- 
drel, I'll teach you a lesson — 

In. L. — Ha ! ha ! ha ! [Jerks him aside ferociously as if a 
flea.] Ye gods of vengeance, rise up in your everlasting majesty 
and concentrate your forces upon this bedlam of vipers ! Ha ! ha ! 
ha! [Flies around, strikes in every direction, dives through 
the crowd, some of which try to secure him, but he floors them 
as if they were nothing. All look scared to death. ] 

J. B. — [Having secured a huge club.] Take that ! [Miss J. 
W., grasps his arm just as he is going to strike the poor luna- 
tic, who turns around, spies them, dashes J. B., to the floor, puts 
Ms foot upon Mm and opens Ms arms to Miss J. W., who flies 
into them.] 

In. L. — Ye gods of love, millions of thanks! Ha! ha! ha! 
mine is the victory! 

Tableau. 

ACT II. 
SCENE I. — Drawing Room o/Miss Jennie Winslow. 

Miss Jennie Winslow. — [Sitting downcast.] Poor, poor Char- 
ley ! He now is in the Insane Asylum, a confirmed lunatic, say 
the physicians, but I have every hope that he will be restored to 
me ! Had it not been for that scoundrel, Tom Fair, we might now 
be happy ; because, dear Charley was always sober, industrious 
and ambitious ; which is more than Tom Fair can say, who is 
either drunk, or at his old game of leading innocent girls astray ! 
[Enter Hans.] 

Hans. — Miss Chennie, dat damn mans beens in de barlor, what 
wants to seen you — 

Miss J- W.— Who is it, Hans? 

Hans. — Id wash been dat feller what goes damn drunk mid 
Jim Bluster ! 

Miss J. W- — Great heaven ! it is Mr. Fair! [Hesitates omin- 
ously.] Well, Hans, show him up ! 

Hans. — Yaw ! [Aside.] Mine Cot, what beens dem womans 
comes to ! Dey lufs de feller mid blenty of monish, yust so mid 
mine damn Piddy McFlanigan ! Yaw wole, wise Gott ! [Exit.] 

Miss J. W- — What can he want ? It seems to me, that I gave 
him a final answer when we last met ! but some men never know 
where to cease their intrusions upon those they have made miser- 
able. — Hark! he is coming, I must arrange my toilet somewhat, 
or, he will think I have grown poor ! [Goes to mirror and fixes 
herself speedily. ] 

[Enter Tom Fair.] 

Tom Fair- — [Fiercely.] Well, my charming Jennie, I am 
delighted to meet you again ! [ Walks up and extends Ms 
hand.] 

Miss J. W. — [She don't receive it.] I should think you might 
know better, than to go where you are not wanted — 

T. F. — Of course, sweet lady, I never go where I am not wanted. 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine, 13 

Miss J- W- — What did you come here for then ? # 

T. F. — Because you want and need me ! Ha ! ha ! 

Miss J". W- — Don't he too sure of that. [Rings for the ser- 
vant. Enter Hans. ] 

Hans. — I wash been here — 

Miss J. W- — Hans, show this person the door ! 

Hans. — [Determined and saucy.] You mans, haf you seen 
dat door ? 

T. F. — [Looks at the door and smiles.] Yes, I have seen 
that door, what of it ? 

Hans. — [Pulls off his hat, coat, vest and cravat and spits 
into his hands.] By Gott, I yust shows you damn loafer, what 
of id ! [ Goes for him. ] 

T. F.—Stop a moment, Hans! [To Miss J. W.] Miss 
Jennie — 

Hans. — [Hopping pugilistically around.] Miss Chenny, 
must I shtop a momend, before I shows him dat door ? 

Miss J. W. — Yes, stop a moment. 

Hans. — [Feeling his muscle.] Mine Cot, I beens sorry for 
dat. [Stands ready for action.] 

T. F- — I wish to inform you that unless you listen to me, you 
will prove your own destroyer. 

Miss J. W- — [Remembering her indebtedness for rent, fyc, 
shudders. ] What do you mean Sir, by your threats ? 

Hans- — [Hops about. Aside.] Gott in himmel, I winch, I 
yust culd gif him von ! yust von leetle von ! 

T. F. — You had better send your servant away, when I will 
tell you what I mean. 

Miss J. W- — Hans, you can leave us. 

Hans. — Yaw! [Aside, whilst putting on his clothes.] O, 
Mine Cot, but I would likes to have beens shown dat damn mans 
dat door ! 

Miss J. W-— I say, Hans, you can go. 

Hans. — Yaw! yaw! I beens goin? [Shakes his fist at Tom 
Fa 1 r and gru mb les. Ex it. ] 

Miss J. W- — Now then, we are alone, so be brief, but none of 
your trickery. 

T. F. — My dear Jennie — 

Miss J. W- — Don't be so familiar, or I wont listen to you — 

T. F. — [Sits down beside her and grasps her wrist.] Yes, 
you will listen to me, and very willingly at that. 

Miss J. W. — Take your hands from me, I am no criminal, that 
you need to chain me. 

T. F. — [Aside.] But you will be damn soon, if you don't 
listen to my love. [To her-] As you will, but please believe me, 
that I love you better than my own life — • 

Miss J. W. — Is this the ruinous threat by which you mean to 
conquer me? 

T. F. — No ma'am ! This is love, but as you despise my pro- 
posals in that manner, I'll just form my words more forcibly. You 
are in debt for rent and for many other things, and I have bought 



14 The Insane Lover ; 

up evei^thing that stands against you and your mother ; and if 
you refuse my overtures of affection, I shall sell you out and set 
you out in the street forthwith ! 

Miss J. W. — [ Writhing in agony. ~\ Oh ! heaven ! what shall 
I do ! Dear Charley, if you were only well now — 

T. F. — Ha! ha! ha! But he is not well ; he is a confirmed 
lunatic, confined in an asylum for such miserable wretches ! 

Misx J. W. — [Rises before him like a giantess, furious.] 
Cease to call him a wretch, or I'll strike you to my feet, you ven- 
omous reptile. [Distressed and weeps.] 

T. F. — My dear young friend, I did not call Mm a wretch, 
still he is a poor miserable fellow — 

Miss J. W. — Yes, and who caused his misery but yourself, you 
infamous heretic and scoundrel ! 

T. F. — You wrong me — 

Miss J- W. — How do I wrong you ? You who have everything 
that heart can wish for — 

T. F. — Except your love, dear lady ! [ Grasps her hand and 
falls upon his knees before her.] And you shall share every- 
thing that I have got, with me, if you will only love me ! See, 
I humble myself before you; I kneel in submission to you, which 
I have never done before, to God or mortal ! 

Miss J. W- — [Aside. ] Oh! mother; O, Charley; O, all ye 
powers above ! Shield and guide me aright in this bitter hour of 
trial ! [ To him.] Get up, please, and tell me what I can do to 
satisfy you for my indebtedness. If you love me, you will give 
me a short time to liquidate the same ! 

T. F. — The only way, dear lady, that you can ever liquidate 
your debts is by loving me ! If you persist in your determination 
to cast me off, I shall turn your bitter enemy, and can you afford, 
or is it safe to do that? Mark well my words, because I mean 
what I say, and seldom waste many words. 

Miss J. W. — [Puzzled.] Will you give me a few days time to 
consider this matter ? 

T. F. — Why do you wish to consider it at all ? Charles Wel- 
don is a raving lunatic, and I am a gentleman of wealth and in- 
fluence, who offers to share everything with you ; now, please de- 
cide instantly ! 

Miss J- W. — I can't and I wont ! My heart and hand belong 
to another as long as he lives, whether he is sane or insane, and 
all the wealth, influence, words and threats in the world could not 
change me one iota ! So do your worst! Leave me instantly. 

T. F. — [Aside.] Curse this stubborn fool ! I'll compel her to 
be mine ! [ To her-] You insist then that I shall leave you ? 
Miss J. W. — Yes Sir, I do; go! [Rises and orders Mm out.] 

T. F. — [Enraged, rises to go.] lam going, proud pauper! 
But I'll come again when you least expect it, and in a manner that 
will astonish you ! Ha! ha! ha! 



Ok, the Fate of the Libertine. 



SCENE Il.—Chamber of Tom Fair, tinier Tom Fair and 
Jim Bluster. 

Tom Fair. — Come, Jim, let's have a drink of my genuine 
bourbon — - 

Jim Bluster. —Aye, my boy, you know what's good ! [Smack* 
his lips, as Tom pours out the stuff of damnation.] 

T. F. — Of course I do. [Aside.] I will make this loafer 
drunk, when he will do anything for money ! Ha ! ha ! Miss Jen- 
nie Winslow, your cake is baked. 

* J. B..— ^[Drinks freely*] Say boss, this is delicious, hie, why 
don't you drink? You generally take the most, hie, hie. 

T. F. — Never mind, I have business on the tapis that requires a 
clear head— 

J. B. — The hell you do ; do you mean to say that, hie, hie, my 
head is not damn clear? Hah ! do you? [Rises and staggers.] 
Look, boss, now I am fit to do any kind of business, hie ! 

T. F.— Just so, and for this reason I want to engage you to do 
a particular little job for me ! 

J. B. — [Smiles.] Flow much? [Holds out his hand.] And 
what is it, I am cocked for anything, hie, hie ? 

T. F. — Here are fifty dollars', and when the work is done, I'll 
triple it — 

J. B- — Bully boy, hie ; I am at it, what is it, spit it out ? hic> 
hie. 

T. F. — To-night, sharp at 8 o'clock, Miss Jennie Winslow, is to 
visit the Insane Asylum in the suburbs, and she may remain inside 
an hour or more, I want you to watch when she goes in, so you 
will know her when she comes out ; and when she does come out, 
I will be there with my close carriage, and when I say "this way 
for Miss Jennie's carriage," I want you to throw a blanket over 
her head, and dash her into my coach ! Then you jump in with 
her, and the balance you shall learn as we move along ! 

J. B. — Be gad, you are a brick, old boss, hie. 

T. F. — -Do you mind, what I said ? 

J. B. — Of course, boss, I'll be there, square ! 

T. F— Enough said ! [Exit both.] 

SCENE III. — Exterior and Interior of Insane Asylum.-^- 
Charles Weldon in a cell. Enter Miss Jennie Win- 
slow and Keeper, 'watched by Jim Bluster. 
" Miss Jennie Winslow. — -[ To the Keeper in corridor.] Is Mr. 
Weldon calm now, or is he still violent? 

Keeper.— Yes ma'am, he is calm now ! He has not been violent 
for a long time ! 

Miss J. W. — Then I will enter his apartment, hoping however, 
that you will be near at hand, in case he should become violent. 

Keeper- — Certainly, I'll remain on the outside, so I can be with 
you at a moment's warning ! 

Miss J. W. — Thank you. [Enters cell, Insane Lover lying on 
a bed or lounge.] 



1 6 The Insane Lover; 



i Lover. — [Groans.] Oh ! O, Jennie, Jennie! 

Miss J. W. — [Kneels by Ms bedside, with uplifted hands in 
suppliance.] Powers of heaven, I fervently pray, send a ray of 
light upon the soul of my beloved Charley ! 

In. L. — [Awakes and rises up.~\ Cupid, O, Cupid, I have felt 
thy thrilling darts ! Thou art ever by my side, for which accept 
my everlasting thanks ! Thy charms are soul-stirring, and I would 
. be an ingrate to overlook thy vivid sparks of living fire ! Ha ! ha ! 
ha ! Thou art true ! No coquetry about thee ! Jennie, O, Jennie, 
why could you not remain as true as lovely Cupid ! Ha! ha ! ha ! 
because, mortals can be flattered, but thou hallowed "goddess of 
love," canst not be beguiled by aught ! Thanks ! thanks ! thanks ! 
Ha! ha! ha! 

Miss J. W. — [Lays her hand on his forehead, he remains 
quiet and smiles.'] Dear Charley, I love you as much as you do 
your charming Cupid ? 

In. L. — Love! Love! [Looks wildly into the heavens.] Of 
course, love only passes as par at this bank ! We deal in nothing 
else but love, true love, that nothing, not even death, can sever! 
Don't we gentle Cupid? Ha! ha! ha! fond messenger of joy! 
Thou dost always answer in the affirmative ! Blessed partner of 
my toils, thou art the very image of grace ! Yes, both thy vigi- 
lance and zeal magnetize mortal souls ; and thou feedest thy chil- 
dren on endless volumes of bliss ! But, I see thou desirest to retire 
for the night; therefore good bye, good bye ! [Kisses his hand in 
the air.] 

Miss J. W. — Oh ! what can I do for this poor, dear mortal ? 
He is so gentle, so eloquent and tender in his pleadings with the 
tender affections ! Undoubtedly he would have been as loving to 
me, had 1 remained steadfast ! Yes, had he not found me with 
Tom Fair — 

In. L. — [Rises wildly to his feet and rants about Ms cell.] 
Tom Fair ! Tom Fair! Ha! ha! ha ! [Mildly hysterical.] Don't 
you come where I can reach you, or I shall murder you and cast 
you into the jaws of the gods of vengeance! Ha! ha! ha! 
[ Throws himself on the bed, and buries his head in his hands 
and weeps.] 

Miss J. W. — He is insensible to everything, except that horrid 
man's name ! Oh ! heaven protect him from harm and grant a 
speedy recovery, of his senses ! I must leave him ! [ Goes to him-] 
Good bye, dear Charley, I must leave you, but Cupid will remain 
with you ; may your tender soul be comforted by him, until the 
real joys of life will illumine your noble mind ! [ Weeps.] 
[Exit from Asylum Miss Jennie Winslow.] 

J. B. — Hark ! she is coming, now for our bird ! [ Throws a 
blanket over her head, she screams.] 

Miss J. W. — Help ! Murder ! 

In. L. — [Hears it and seems to be sensible to it, jumps up and 
flies to the door.] What, what have -ye done to her? Come! 
come! ye gods of love and vengeance and protect, protect her ! 
There, there, ha ! ha! ha! Cupid you have again obeyed my com- 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 17 

niands ! Ha "! ' Ha ! ha ! Ten thousand thanks \ Ha ! ha 1 ha ! 
[Throws himself on his bed and continues laughing.'] 

J. B.— [Waits a moment, until In. Lover -is quiet, fixing 
blanket.'] All is quiet now. 

Tableau. 

SCENE IV. — Dining Room or Kitchen of Miss Jennie Win- 
slow's house. Enter Hans and Biddy. 

Biddy. — Hans darlin 1 , do you link that our swate mistress can 
be found agin ? 

Hans.— Yaw, wise Gott, I wills find her, und if I muss beeris 
hunten her all dis dimes ! Gott inhimmel, it wash beens dat mans 
what I wash to "show dat door," und what Miss Chennie stops me 
from showen dem damn mans dat door ! [Shalces his fisL] I 
yust wants to gif him von leetle Von, what Miss Chennie wont 
let's me gif him ! Mine Cot, now I wants to gif him much pig vonsl 

Biddy. — Ye air right, Hans darlin'. If ye could only find 
him, but ye air very sharp, aren't ye ? [Chucks him tenderly 
under the chin.] 

Hans. — [Stoops to her.] Dat wash gude, mine sugar und 
molasses Piddy ! Doos dat much more, und den I be damn if I 
doos not find dem mans, what loafs mit Jim Pluster ! 
/Biddy. — [Chucks him more and kisses him.] There, ye 
naughty boy take that ! 

Hans. — -[Laughs, strikes his knee.] Mine Cot, yaw, I dakes 
dat und beens a naughty poy so long as I lifs ! Piddy, mine sugar 
und molasses, you beens looken Oud for Miss Chennie, when I 
goes mit mine old coats und dem dutch caps, what nobody knows; 
und I damn queak finds where beens Jim Pluster und Tom Fair ! 

Biddy. — Yis darlin' Hans, but ye be kereful not to git disciv- 
ered or hurted. An' where will ye go fur to larn where our 
swate mistress is ? 

Hans. — I goes to de Lager Beer Saloons where, dem damn 
fellers goes und makes much drunk. Now, cum [Looks at her 
lovingly.] gif me anodder of dem naughty poys ! und den I sing 
you von songs. [She kisses him, fyc] 

SCENE V. — Insane Asylum. Enter Tom Fair and Keeper. 

Tom Fair. — Is Mr. Charles Weldon still an inmate of the 
Asylum ? 

Keeper.-— Yes Sir, he is; 

T. F — How is he getting ? Any hopes of his recovery ? 

Keeper. — Oh! Yes Sir, the doctors say that in a few months he 
may be cured. 

T. F— [ Aside.] The devil he may. [To Keeper. ] Is he 
gentle, or otherwise? 

Keeper.— Oh ! very gentle. 

T. F — Conduct me to him ! 

Keeper.— This way Sir. 
[Tom Fair enters cell, Keeper locks him in and leaves them.] 

In. L- — -Oh! Jennie ! Jennie! had you not yielded to a rakish 



1 8 The Insane Lover; 

tongue ! Oh ! O. [ Groans lying on bed, but nova sits up, but 
does not notice him.'} 

T. F. — The fool still harps on Jennie. [ To 7tim f ] Mr. Wel- 
don, don't you know me ? Look at me, don't you know your old 
friend ? 

In. L. — Yes, ye gods of love, and gods of vengeance, I know 
ye both, but my soul does not pant for carrion blood just now ! 
Please, O please, shield me from devouring him ! [Gentle now.} 

T. F. — To whom do you refer? [Trembling.] 

In. L. — Cupid, dear Cupid, why dost thou wave me in that 
bloody direction ? Thou hast never done so before ! Oh ! do not 
leave me ; I pray, I pray, do not leave me ! Ha ! ha ! [Rage 
beginning.'] I behold my gods of vengeance ; come then, ye ter- 
rible ministers of torture, and guide me to the spot, where deeds 
of mercy and Cupid's tread cannot appear ! I am sorry ! sorry ! 
very sorry ! [ Weeps.] 

T. F. — [Aside.] I am afraid of this mad man! [Tries the 
door, finds it locked. To In. L.] My dear Charles, do you not 
know me ? I am your old friend, Tom Fair. 

In. L.— [Springs upon him with one bound, like an infuri- 
ated demon, and dashes him upon the floor.] Dog, carrion, 
and libertine ! [ Tears him around terribly, raises him on his 
knees, choking him until he is purple.] The gods of vengeance 
have sharpened my appetite for you ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! You, you, 
Tom Fair ! Tom Fair ! The drunken seducer ! The rich rake ! 
Ha! ha! ha! Charley Weld on, the fearful, has got you now 
safely in his clutches of vengeance! [Again tears him around 
the cell, tintil every bone seems to be broken in his body, and 
looks lifeless, then dashes him on the floor, and sits down on 
his bed nearly exhausted.] 

T. F— [Groans.] Oh ! O, O, heaven! 

In. L.—[ Watches him like a cat watches a mouse.] Ha! ha! 
ha ! Ye gods of vengeance, laugh at men's misery ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
[Stares awfully into void space.] What? What? More, more 
yet! Ha! ha! ha! and still more ! Oh! is there no mercy in 
your composition? None, none! Oh! none. Then, beware, 
awake ! Tom Fair and all ye fair libertines, and let me summon 
•you to your doom ! 

T. F. — [Crawls into a comer, trembling.] Murder! help! 
help ! 

In. L. — Ha ! ha! ha! [Points at T. F.], Look at yonder cow- 
ard ! Ha ! ha! ha ! He calls for help ! Screams murder, when 
rooming with a playmate of the male gender! Were he an inno- 
cent young woman, he'd rave and rant, and boast, and flirt, and 
defy; but, now, ye gods of love, and gods of vengeance, look 
what a cur, ha ! ha ! a pusillanimous whelp the great Tom Fair is; 
crouching in yonder corner, [Points.] like an innocent baby! 
Come forth, you bold and gay tyrant, when I will show you your 
future deeds! Come, come ! [Goes gently to him, and takes 
the calm though scared Tom by his ear and leads him to the 
-centre of his cell, and joints him heavenward.] Tom Fair, look 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 19 

up there, do you see those gods of love ? And now, look down 
there, do you see those gods of vengeance? Now, noble million- 
aire, I have shown you both places where the gods congregate ; 
and whilst I did not make this state of affairs, I am nevertheless 
compelled by said gods, to give you your reward ! Ha ! ha ! 

T. F.— [Shakes.] Oh! my dear Charley, have mercy on your 
old schoolmate, who has favored you with loans, and — 

In. L. — Liar and slave ! [ Taken him with herculean strength 
by the throat, and lifts him fairly off his feet.] You have 
robbed me, and now feel my burden on your bastard throat! Ha! 
ha! ha! [In anger.] You hang out your tongue like an old 
distempered horse ! [Dashes him to the floor and kneels upon 
his breast.] Ha! ha! ha! Lie there, it is better than lying 
with your perjured tongue! Ha! ha! ha! [Chokes T. F. 
again. T. F. groans as in death.] 

Tableau. 
ACT III. 

SCENE I. — Drinking Saloon. Tom Fair Jim Bluster, rag- 
ged and drunk. Hans in disguise ; Citizens and 
Bar Keeper. 

Tom Fair. — [Roughly.] Landlord, some of your best whis- 
ky! [To Jim.] Say, Jim, haven't we done the business on the 
square. But curse the proud bird for her stubbornness; she'll 
learn my ways after a while ! Ha ! ha ! 

Hans. — [Sits in a corner pretending to sleep off a drunken 
debauch. Aside.] Mine Cot, dat wash de mans, "what I wash 
shown dat door !" I wash now beens after you damn scoundrel ! 

Jim Bluster. — Yes, boss, you are the coon for that ! Ha ! ha ! 
Let's take a seat! [Sit down to a table.] 

T. F. — [Drinks freely.] Say, Jim, what I, hie, cannot per- 
form, is not worth performing, hah ! what say you to that ? 

J. B. — Hah ! ha ! but didn't she kick, when I carried her to 
your coach ? 

Hans. — Dunner und blitzen ! dats Jim Pluster ! Ha! ha! 
mine poys, I yust keeps me eye on you damn mans. [ Totters 
forward, toioard the couple.] 

T. F. — [Jolly drunk now, rises and slaps Hans on the shoul- 
der, thinking it is J. B.] Say, Jim, we, hie — 

Hans. — [Laughs drunkenlike.] You makes a misdakes ; hal 
ha! I wash not beens "Chim hie." 

T. F. — Who in the thunder are you then ? 

Hans. — I amsa dirsty Brussians, what yust cumes from Berlins. 

T. F. — Landlord, more whisky! [To Hans.] Come, Mr. 
Prussian, sit down and drink, hie, your fill ! 

Hans. — [Aside.] Yaw, I drinks your fill, wise Gott. [To 
Mm.] Yaw, I danks you mouch. [All three seated now at th$ 
table, drinking. Hans, spilling his however.] 

J. B. — Boss, hie, hie, tell us one of your good old stories — 
" T. F. — Say, b-o-ys, let's fill up first and be merry, hie. 



2o The Insane Lover ; .■ 

c Hans.— Yaw, Wise Gott, dat wash gude! [Pours out-] 

T. F. — [After drinking, becomes communicative.'] Say boys, 
hie, hie. 

, Hans.— [Aside.] Ha! ha! He calls me poys, yust like mine 
sugar und molasses Piddy ! Put, I yust waits a leetle, when I poys 
him, und shows him dem doors damn much ! 

T. F— Say, say, hie, hie, ha! ha ! hie— 
. Hans. — [Impatient, aside.] Dunner und blitzen, notting put, 
say, say, und hie, hie ! Mine Cot, I'll damn me if I don hie you 
drunken hound ! 

i J. B. — Boss, hie, tell us one of your good old stories ! 
, Hans. — [Aside.] What dem damn mans goes, hie, hie, all de 
dimes. [To Tom.] Yaw, Boss, dell urns, dem stories ! 

T. F— Ha! ha! hie, hie ! ha! 

Hans. — [Aside.] Damn, dem "hie," notting put hie, hie! 
[Br aim to hit him.] 

T. i?.— Say, hie, boys— 

Hans. — [Looks mad as fire, and draws to hit him, but is 
quiet. To Tom. ] Yaw. 
. T. i^.-^-Say, say, Jim, I'll just rel-a-te, hie, to our Prussian here^ 
how we, hie — kidnapped Miss Jennie Winslow, hie — 

Hans. — [Aside-] Kid-papped! Dunner und blitzen, what 
am kid-papped? [To him.] Yaw, yaw, das wash damn gude. 

T. F. — Say, Jim, didn't she rip and kick though, when we 
jammed her into my second story chamber in my dwelling, at the 
corner of North and Summer Streets? Ha ! ha ! ha ! hie, hie. 

Hans. — [Thunderstruck and angry, still anxious to learn 
more- Aside, ] Ad de corner of Nord und Summer Strets! 
•Hah ! hah ! mine nice mans, I yust but dat down in mines buke 1 
[ Writes it down.] 

J. B. — Yes, boss, but you struck her rather a heavy blow then— - 

Hans. — Gott for damned, put I beens much mad now! [To 
them.] What I hears? You strikes a womans ? [Rises up for 
a fight.] 

T. F. — [Also jumps to his feet.] What's that to you, hie, 
accursed dutchman? 

, Hans. — [Aside.] I must beens quied, oder I yust gif him 
much leetle von. [To him.] Notting! [Laughs.] Ha! ha! 
I wash beens dinking ov mine kundry mans what strikes my mod- 
der ! Mine modder wash a womans ! 

. T. F. and J. B. — [Both laugh.] J. B. — He thinks we were 
speaking, hie, hie, of striking his "modder" ! [Both laugh 
again.] 

Hans. — lis now ready to move off.] Mine friends, I must 
beens off to mines pusiness ! Haf much pusiness ! [Aside.] Yaw, 
wise Gott, I hafs pusiness what makes you drunken mans much 
wonder! [Shakes his fist at them, they stagger towards the 



kw-1 



Tableau. 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 2l 

$ G&NE JI,— JBTiamber in Tom Fair's Besidence, second story 
corner of house* Hans discovers Miss Jennie Win- '. 
slow to be imprisoned there; has a ladder, 
and tools. 

Miss Jennie Winslow. — Oh ! heaven, I am imprisoned ! [ Tries 
doors and windows.] Every thing is locked! [Hunts in 
drawers, fycfor tools, finds none.] I'll see if I can find any. 
thing to break out of this place! Of course, this is Tom Fair's 
dirty work ! Undoubtedly, this is his private residence, [ Tries 
to look out at window, but can't see anything.] I can't look out 
anywhere ! What shall I do ? I hear some one coming ! 
[Enter Jim Bluster.] 

Jim Bluster. — Good morning, my fine lady. 

Miss J. W.— [Stares with amazement.] What do you want ? 
Drunken fool ! 
'• J. B. — Don't be snappish my dear! [Tries to embrace her.] 

Miss J. W.— [Gives him a push and throws him down, then 
makes for the door, which he toas wise enough to bolt inside.] 
Let me out, and you shall be well paid ! 

J. B.— Pauper ! you have no money, but Tom, hie, has plenty ! 
Ha ! ha ! [ Gratols up. ] 

[Enter Tom Fair.] 
■ Miss J. W.<— [Aside.] Am I to be murdered ? 

T. F. — Halloo !. what in the thunder are you doing down there ? 
[To her.] My dear, I hope he has behaved like a gentlemaii? 

Miss J. W.— Gentleman ! [Turning up her nose.] More 
like a thief and libertine ! 

i, T. F. — Curse him ! [Jerks him roughly out of the chamber.] 
Get out you drunken loafer. £ To her, after locking door. ] He 
is gone and we are alone, proud lady! You see now, I hope, 
that my words to you, at our last interview, have come true ! I 
told you then, that I would astonish you ! 

• Miss J. W- — But you have not astonished me as yet ! [De- 
fiantly.] 

T. F. — [Himself looks greatly astonished.] Why not ? Does 
this imprisonment in my own bed chamber not astonish you, 
proud pauper? 

Miss J. W.— No Sir, coward, nothing that you can do astom 
ishes me ; simply because I know that you are vile enough to 
commit any crime, but — 

■ ; : T. F.—No buts, madam, nor any more of your impudence! 
[Takes hold of her, being still half drunk.] 

Miss J. W. — Ye powers above protect me! [Gives him a 
push that sends Mm reeling.] Now, you dare to come near me 
again, and I'll kill you. [Draws a dirk.] Do you see this? 
'■■ -T. F.— [Scared to death.] My dear Jennie! [Moves to- 
wards the door.] I do not wish to insult you, but — 

Miss J. W.— --[Makes for door herself] No more of yourhuts, 
and stay here, until I'll teach you that I am no baby ! Open this 
door and leave me out of this "house or I'll kill you with this clirk. 



12 The Insane Lover; 

' T. F.— [Aside.] S'death, I am trapped again. [To her.] 
Say, Miss Jennie, you know that I love you — 

Miss J. W. — But I do not love you, and that is the end of this 
business. Will you open that door, or give me the key ? 

T. F.-—[Goes to the bell and rings it, unknown to her, when 
Jim Bluster mid Servants rush into the room.] Ha! ha ! ha! 
now, my brave heroine, my turn comes. [ To Servants.] Grasp 
her, and take that dirk from her ! [They obey.] Search her, 
and ascertain if she possesses any more little playthings. Has she 
more ? 

J, B—'None Sir. 

T. F. — All right. Leave us, but wait without, in case of need 
ing your further services ! 

Miss J. W- — Base villain ! 

T. F. — You don't say so ! [Tantalizingly.] 

Miss J. W — [ Takes a large pin from her hair. ] If you 
come near me, I will send this through your hard and wicked 
heart ! 

T. F. — Then I shall not come near you. 
; Miss J. W. — Ha! ha! ha! [Hysterically.] I thought so. 
If you are not going to let me out of this place, leave me, or you 
may die yet at my hands, base scoundrel ! 

T. F. — As I don't feel very well, I will obey you this time, but 
prepare for my next visit ! [Exit Tom Fair.] 
[Enter Hans.] 

Hans. — [Looks at house.] Dis wash beens de house, what 
dem damn loafer says Chennie wash beens ! [Puts ladder he 
brought to second story window.] Dem doors beens all shut, 
but I maks every dings mit mine dingoes. [Exhibits a chisel and 
hammer, goes and pries shutter open and calls quietly.] Miss 
Chennie ! Miss Chennie ! 

Miss J. W. — [Hearing a noise.] There is some one at that 
shutter ! What can it mean ? [Listens. ] Oh ! it is Han's voice ! 
[Jumps with delight.] 

Hans. — Miss Chennie ! [Dark in chamber.] 

Miss J. W. — Yes, Oh, yes, Hans, I am here ! Heaven bless 
you for coming to me ! 

Hans. — O, I beens much workin' bis I find mine gude lady ! 
Now cum mid mineself — [Sits coolly on icindow sill.] \ 

Miss J. W. — But, how can I get out? 

Hans. — Ged oud ! Mine Cot, cum und I'll yusthold you downs! 
You beens not scared of me, beens you ? 

Miss J. W. — My dear Hans, how you do talk. 

Hans. — [Aside.] Gott in himmel, she calls mineself "dear 
Hans." Dat wash gude ! [To her.] I yust winch dat damn 
mans come now, what I wash to shows dat door when you'ens 
sthopped me from gifing him von leetle vons ! f 

Miss J. W. — Hans, let us get out of this place as soon as possi- 
ble ! 

Hans. — Cum den ! [ Carries her down, or she gets down hety 
self.] 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 23 

Miss J. W. — [As they reach the ground, enter in chamber 
Tom Fair and Jim Bluster with a light.] Dear Hans, I hear 
them coming:, hurry and let us be off! 

Hans. — Mine Cot! I Pugilistic] I yust winch dem damn 
mans would cum, I yust now show dem de door, werry much yon 
dimes! 

T. F. — Great Mars ! that window is open, and she is gone — 

J. B- — Ha ! ha ! boss, she was too much for — 

T. F. — Shut up, you drunken loafer ! 

Hans. — [Sees them at the window with a light, draws a pis- 
tol and fires at them.] Dakes dat, you damn drunken mans! 
£Jim staggers as if shot.] 

Tableau, 

SCENK III. — Drawing Boom o/Miss Jennie Winslow. 

Miss Jennie Winslow. — Oh ! I am too happy to learn that my 
dearly beloved Charley has been discharged as cured. [Jumps 
around delighted.] And what is still more delightful, is that he 
will visit me at ten o'clock. [Buns to clock.] It is now five 
minutes of ten! Goodness! [Clapping her hands-] In five 
minutes he'll be here ! My, oh, my goodness, but I have cause to 
be grateful ! One can only fully appreciate life after having suf- 
fered all sorts of privations and tortures ! A few days ago all was 
darkness, and just think of it, now all is sunshine ! [All this time 
she is busy fixing things around the room, and her own toilet, ] 
[Enter Biddy.] 

Biddy. — Och ! me swate lady, a gintleman is in the parlor, 
Who looks j ist like Mr. Charles Weldon — 

Miss J. W. — [Clapping her hands.] Send him up, send him- 
up quickly. 

Biddy. — [Aside.] An' shure, has she gone mad also ! [Looks 
back at her.] An' I never saw her act so crazy ! The lord pro- 
tect the crature ! [Hands uplifted and exit. ] 
: Miss J. W. — I wonder if he'll be glad to see me, I am sure he 
will— . 

[Enter Charles Weldon.] 
[Buns affectionately to him.] Oh! dear Charley, I am too 
glad to see you — 

Charles Weldon. — [ Waves her coldly away with his hand.} 
Good morning, Miss Winslow ! 

Miss J. W. — [Shocked and chagrined. Aside.] Miss Win, 
slow. [To him, kindly, but with dignity.] I am sorry if my 
love for you has been too arduous ! 

: C. W.— [Aside.] Gay dissembler. [To her.] If true, it 
could not be. 

: Miss J. W. — Oh! Charles, if you knew what I have suffered 
for you ! you would not treat me so coldly — 

C. W. — Women always think that they suffer the most, when 
they are the cause, of all their own misery and the sufferings of 
others ! - , . 



gsj- The' IrtsAtfE Lover; .'■■') 

"•' MissJ.-W.-^-[Ghap fallen.} True, true, I have made you 
more miserable, than I did myself, but — 

C W.— But what ? [Angered and suspicious, giving one of 
Ms insane looks, 'which scares tier.] 

'**■■ Miss J. W.—l was going to say, {Speaks very humble and 
tenderly.] that I suffered greatly on account of my childish folly 
with—' -*- r -- '■ '•■ 

C W. — Tom Fair, the libertine! [Looks insane again.] 
Ten thousand curses on his impious head ! and y*ou — 
' Miss J. TF.-— Oh ! kill me, if you think I deserve it! [Falls 
before him on her knees and weeps aloud.] 

C. W. — [Looks pitifully at her for a moment.] Ye gods of 
peace, convince my mind that she, is pure and innocent — 

Miss J. W- — [Springs vigorously to her feet and faces him 
boldly yet kindly.], As I hope for heaven! I am pure and 
innocent! - 

\ G. W. — -[Opens his arms rto receive her, smiling benignly.'] 
I believe you, come to my arms ! [Kisses her forehead.] . But 
tell me, where is Tom Fair? 

Miss J. W. — Oh ! dear Charley, don't mention that horrid 
man's name ! He has been the cause of all our suffering ! 

C. W- — What great suffering did you undergo ? 

Miss J. W.—[ Weeps.] What did I not suffer ? 

(J. W. — Hease, tell me how. 
'■■ Miss J. -W}} — I will, dear Charley, and when you learn the true 
state of things, you will not blame me any more ! In the first 
place, he threatened you Violence, if I should reject him, and in 
my ardor to serve' you, and through my youthful indiscretion, I 
permitted him to visit me! [Stops a moment and blushes.]' 
Pardon me for reminding you of that horrible night ! 

(J. W. — [Embraces her.] Never mind the past, but tell me 
how it all happened ! 

Miss J. W. — [ Weeps.] Oh ! the misery I suffered on behalf 
of your disease, almost killed me ; and then the repeated perse-; 
cutions of Tom Fair, and his drunken chum, Jim Bluster, were 
too horrid to endure — 

C W. — [Getting impatient.] Go on, go on, and tell me 
quickly.-; [A raving expression. on him.] 

Miss J. W- — Dear Charley, don't look that way, you frighten 
me! 

C. W. — No, no, most precious one, [Embraces her tenderly.] 
don't be frightened, but finish without fear ! [Kisses her affec- 
tionately.] 

Miss J. W. — I will, but please promise me first, not to become 
vexed or excited over my story, because, as you said: "never 
mind the past." 

G. W.—l will obey you, but tell me what Tom Fair did to you 
by way of persecution ? 

Miss J. W. — Well, the worst of all his villainies, was my ab- 
duction and incarceration in his bed chamber, after he found that 
he could not accomplish his fiendish purposes — 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 25 

C. W- — Oh! ten millions of curses on his dastardly head! 
[Terribly agitated.'] I swear by all that is sacred to me that 
I will kill this lecherous scoundrel — 

Miss J. W. — [Scared worse than before, seeing Ms insane 
emotions again.] Dear Charley! hear, O, hear me ! [Palls 
Mm and pleads.] I pray, I pray you, listen to me for only one 
moment — 

C- W. — No, no, my soul is in arms, and by all that is fearful, 
I vow to be revenged ! Oh ! that I had the villain here now ! 
[Grinds Ms teeth and, foams.] I'd tear him limb from limb ! 

Miss J. W. — [Hangs on to him and pleads.] Oh ! no, no, 
dear Charley, listen, listen, to me ! 

C. W. — [Tears around like a perfect maniac, until she falls 
exhausted and faint before his eyes.] Heaven! [Stops and 
stares in a subdued manner.] Poor girl, I have given her too 
much trouble already, without adding more to it ! [ Takes her 
up and speaks to her.] Speak to me, my dear Jennie, I'll be 
calm hereafter, indeed I will ! [Aside.] Should I meet with 
the bastard cut throat, I'd have satisfaction ! 

[Suddenly enters Tou Fair.] 

Tom Fair. — [Jerks Charles Weldon away from Miss Jen- 
nie Winslow, not knowing Mm.] Fiend, who are you — 

Miss J. W. — [Screams as she seesTou Fair, and runs tow- 
ards Charles Weldon, who takes her in Ms arms.] Oh ! 
Charley protect me from that villain ! [Terribly excited.] 

C W. — [Calm as a cucumber.] I will; be calm darling. 
[To Tom.] Well, you infamous rake and bloat, what is your 
business in this lady's house ? Look at me, I think you know me ? 

T. F. — [Somewhat alarmed.] That is none of your business! 
[Aside.] Charles Weldon, by the gods. 

C W. — [ Walks deliberately up to him, and smacks him in 
the face.] Take that, coward ! 

T. F. — Coward? Coward? [Eaves.] I'll have satisfaction, 
satisfaction ! 

C. W. — [Calmly.] My dear Jennie, will you please leave me 
a few moments alone with this villain. 

Miss J. W- — He will injure you — 

C W. — [Smiles serenely.] Don't fear that, I'll promise you^ 
that I will look out for myself! Go, darling, if you love me ! 

Miss J. W. — Love you ; yes, with all my soul ! 

C. W. — Thanks, many thanks. [Leads her out and returns 
instantly.] Now Sir, I am ready to give you satisfaction, name 
the time and place, coward ! 

T. F. — [Trembling.] To-morrow morning at ten o'clock, in 
the woods yonder ! 

C. W- — And your weapons ? 

T. F.— Swords! 

C, W*— All right, I'll be with you with all my heart! [Smiles 
at Mm-] I advise you to say your prayers before you come, for I 
am going to send you to hell ! Farewell! [Exit Charles 
Weldon.] 



26 The Insane Lover; 

T. F-— The crazy fool ! Curse him ! [Exit ToM Fair. J 

SCENE IV.— Woods. Duel. Enter Tom Fair and Jim 
Bluster. 

Tom Fair. — Jim, if I should fall in this duel — 

Jim Bluster. — Nonsense, boss, you can easily run that lunatic 
through ! 

T. F — I am not so sure of that ! Curse that infernal lunatic ! 
Oh ! Jim, I feel a terrible lump in my throat. 

J. B. — [Pulls a bottle of whisky from his pocket.] Here, boss, 
take a nip, it will cure that " terrible lump." Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

T. F. — You, cursed drunken fool, can easily laugh, you have 
nothing to lose by this affair — 

J. B. — Oh ! yes, boss ; if I should lose you, how could I make 
a living? I have been doing your dirty work for years, for which 
you paid me freely ! [ Cries aloud.] Nothing to lose, should 
you be killed ? 

T. F. — Do you then feel so badly, when you think of losing 
me ? 

J. B. — Yes, boss, [Sighs.] for where should I get whisky, 
[Brightens up.] unless you will make a will quick, before you 
die, and make me your heir ! 

T. F. — That's infernally consoling ! 

J. B.— What is? 

T. F. — Hinting about my dying. Even if I should make a 
will, as you have proposed, you'd get nothing. 

J. B. — Why not, boss ? 

T. F. — Because I am insolvent ! I have far more debts than 
dollars to liquidate them ! 

J. B. — How could you run your gay establishment, if you were 
so poor ? 

T- F. — On tick, making my creditors and everybody else be- 
lieve that I still am wealthy ! Fools ain't all dead yet ! 

J. B. — Just so, boss. But here comes Charles Weldon and 
friend. 

[Enter Charles Weldon and Friend.] 

Charles Weldon. — Well, coward, I am here at the hour ap- 
pointed. 

T. F. — [Sighing.] I see you are. 

C. W- — Are you ready ? 

T. F. — Yes Sir. [To Jim Bluster.] Give me another nip. 
Now lunatic, come on. 

C. W. — All right! [They fight, Tom Fair is wounded unto 
death. Enter Miss Jennie Winslow, Biddy and Hans.] 

Miss J. W- — Great heaven ! [Buns to Charley Weldon. ] 
What have you done ? 

C W. — I have kept my promise ! I am avenged ! 

T. F. — Yes, [Groans and rises partly.] you are; but wont 
•you forgive me ? 

■':■'• Hans.—rMine Cot,T yust winch I could shows him de door to 
dem pad blace ! 



Or, the Fate of the Libertine. 27 

Biddy. — Och ! Hans darlin' ain't ye ashamed of yersilf. 

Hans. — Nine, he wash a pad mans ! 

T. F. — Charles, old school-mate, and Miss Jennie ! wont you 
[ Gurgles in throat. ] forgive me ? 

[ They bow in assent, he dies. Hans, Biddy and Miss Jennie 
Winslow and Charles Weldon form an affecting 

Tableau. 



THE END. 



DR. S. M. LANDIS' 

MEDICAL IHSTITUTIOH, 



PHILADELPHIA. 



All diseases of the Sexes Cured without 
Internal Drugs. 



Medical Consultation Hours, by Dr. Landis, Every 

Week-day from 7 to 12 mornings, and each Monday 

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Male and Female Assistant Physicians always in 

LIST OF DR. LANDIS' BOOKS 

1. Secrets of Generation, (Condemned Book) . $ T 00 

2. Social War of 1900 ; or Conspirators and Lovers. 

A prophetic Novel, 416 pages, . r «- 

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analyzing Free-Love. 

Wholesale and Retail at above Place. 



10 
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DR. S. M. LANDIS, Author and Proprietor of the following 

Entirely Original Plays, offers the same to " Stars" and 

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characters himself, viz : 

1." The Great American Spectacular Drama, entitled, THE 
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Several Tableaux. Dr. Landis as The Devil. A lady can 
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2. The "Prophetic" War Drama, entitled, THE SOCIAL 
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AND LOVERS. Five Acts and Ten Grand Tableaux. 
Dr. Landis as Dr. Victor Juno. A lady ''Star" as Miss 
Lucinda Armington. 

3. Tragic Tableau Comedy, entitled, LESSONS IN 
SEARCH OF GREATS ESS; or, STEPPING 
DOWN THE LADDER. Four Intermissions and 
Fourteen Scenes. Each Scene closing with an Exciting Tab- 
leau. Dr. Landis as Simon Pure, Esq. 

4. Stirring Comedy Drama, entitled, THE INSANE 
LOVER; or, FATE OF THE LIBERTINE. 

Three Acts and Seven Tableaux. Dr. Landis as Insane Lover. 

5. Soul- Harrowing Tragedy, entitled, THE FIEND; or, 
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